Adjusting to Parenthood

The last 2 weeks have been a whirlwind. Since bringing Everly home from the hospital there have been some major changes in our daily and evening routines. Even though newborns sleep anywhere from 16-20 hours a day, caring for them is no joke. We have already dealt with an unexpected visit to the pediatrician's office, exploding poop diapers, sleep deprivation, breastfeeding issues, and keeping up with a house that reminds me of a war zone.

Sleep? Who Needs Sleep?
I would say the biggest adjustment has been learning to function without sleep. The first night we brought Everly home from the hospital felt like we were being initiated into a new club through some crazy hazing ritual. In the hospital Everly was so peaceful and easy to care for. She slept through the night and she very rarely cried. Our first night at home with her was quite the opposite of the behavior we witnessed in the hospital. Imagine this scene...Danny and I got ready for bed, we put Everly in her bassinet, kissed her goodnight, took a few pictures because she looked so darn cute, turned down the lights, crawled into bed, looked at one another and smiled, kissed each other goodnight, and let out a sigh of relief as we curled up in our comfy bed for our first night at home as a family. I remember thinking, "We got this!" Fast forward about 15 minutes later and we were suddenly startled by a shrieking cry. We both jumped up and went to Everly's bassinet. I picked her up and Danny turned on the lights. We tried to comfort her but nothing seemed to work. She just kept screaming. And I am not talking about a regular cry either, this particular cry indicated that she was in pain. Although this was a cry I had never heard before my instincts told me that something was not right. I should also mention that while she was screaming Bama was following us around the house and barking. Talk about a stressful situation! This all started around 12:30 a.m. and it continued until 5:45 the next morning. Nothing that we did soothed her or calmed her down. We walked the floors, we sang, we rocked, we talked, we tried to burp her, we gave her drops for gas but nothing worked. Finally at 3:45 a.m. I called the pediatrician's answering service and left a message. A few minutes later our doctor called us back and after talking with him he determined that it was most likely the formula that we were using that was causing the problem. In the hospital my milk supply never came in so the nurses recommended that I supplement with formula until I could produce enough breast milk to satisfy her. Unfortunately, they put her on a soy based formula which did not agree with her stomach. Since she was getting colostrum from the breastfeeding in the hospital it took a few days for the formula to cause stomach problems. The pediatrician recommended that we give her a different type of formula and bring her into the office the next morning so he could check her out. After getting about 2 hours of sleep we woke up at 8:00 a.m. and took her into his office. Luckily, his diagnosis over the phone was correct. While I was relieved that it was nothing major, I have never felt so helpless in my whole entire life. Nothing sucks worse than watching your child suffer. I know this is the first of many incidents in her life, but I don't think it will ever get any easier.

Luckily we have managed to get more than 2 hours of sleep since the first night at home, but not too much more. Apparently newborns have their days and nights mixed up for the first couple of months so Everly likes to sleep all day and then wake up at night to play. This means that we are awake with her in the middle of the night.The majority of the time she is not fussy when she is awake but she does want to be held. After a few nights of both of us trying to stay awake to care for her, we finally realized that neither of us was any good the next day with only a few hours of sleep. As a result we put a new system into place and now we split up the night shift so we can each get about 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I have been going to bed at 9 p.m. and waking up at 3 a.m. Danny stays up with her until 3 a.m. and then sleeps until 8 a.m.. So far this schedule seems to be working out pretty well but we are both definitely looking forward to the day when she sleeps through the night.

The Milk Wagon
Before I gave birth I had every intention of breastfeeding and it never even crossed my mind that it would be a challenge. Boy was I wrong! Breastfeeding has created the most stress and frustration thus far. As I mentioned earlier my milk supply did not come in while I was in the hospital so that started the whole process off on the wrong foot. Since I wasn't making any milk we had to supplement her feedings with formula. Now don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against formula. I was fed on formula and I turned out just fine. However, when I am set on doing something I don't take no for an answer without putting up a fight. When we got home I hired a lactation consultant to come to the house and help us jump start the breastfeeding process. This lady was fantastic. She should be called the LA boob whisperer. She helped us with the latching on process and she had all kinds of tricks up her sleeve that helped me to increase my milk supply. In addition to the diet plan and herbs, she also had all of these gadgets that could be used while breastfeeding to supplement Everly with formula and satisfy her hunger, while also encouraging her to suck harder, which would in turn increase my milk supply. Let me tell you...these were quite the contraptions! Unfortunately, none of them worked for us. One of the gadgets consisted of a tube that was taped to my breast and provided additional formula while Everly was breastfeeding. Since her hands are always moving she kept pulling the tube off of my breast, and when that wasn't happening she was spitting it out or pushing it aside with her tongue. To say that this was a disaster is an understatement. She also had syringes that were filled with formula that could be inserted into her mouth while she was breastfeeding. These were also problematic because it was next to impossible to use the syringes filled with formula, hold Everly on the pillow, and keep her latched on to my breast all at the same time. If I had three hands then maybe the syringes would be a realistic option for us but since I only have two we had to ditch this option as well. Since none of the contraptions worked then the lactation consultant recommended that we bottle feed her with formula full time while I pumped 6-8 times a day to increase my supply. At first this sounded like the most attractive option because at least I would be able to save my breast milk and feed it to her along with the formula. However, after 4 days of being hooked to a pump every 2 hours I hit my breaking point. I felt like my entire day consisted of nothing but pumping and to be honest I started to resent it. I started feeling defeated and depressed because I was missing out on precious and valuable time with my baby girl. Also, while my milk supply increased some, it was still not where it should be for me to breastfeed her exclusively. After thinking it over long and hard, and consulting with Danny, my OB/GYN, the lactation consultant, and our pediatrician, I have decided that I am going to breastfeed Everly as much as I can and then supplement with formula. I realize at some point she will start to reject the breast because the bottle will seem more appealing but I am OK with that. My sanity and happiness has a direct impact on the well-being of everyone in this house and since the previous arrangements were not working well for anyone then I am confident that this is the best decision for our family. I can walk away from this experience knowing that I gave it 110%. I also know that Everly will be just fine with formula. Like I said earlier, I was bottle fed and I think I turned out to be a healthy, smart, and well-adjusted person ! :)

Exploding Poop Diapers
Who knew that baby's pooped so much??? Diaper changes are quite the event at our house. I swear Danny and I have both been pooped and peed on so often we don't even flinch anymore when it happens. The other day I went to change her and as soon as I had her diaper off she started peeing and pooping at the same time. Of course I didn't have the next diaper ready to put on her and the dirty diaper I had just taken off was already in the Diaper Genie so I had nothing to put over her to catch the pee and poo. All I could do was scream for Danny, yell out, "Help me Jesus", and hold Everly in the air above the changing table until help arrived. What a mess! I definitely learned a valuable lesson that day: Have your supplies ready and get in and out quickly!

Someone should seriously do a reality show about new parents. There is no training manual for this job so it really is trial by fire. You have to laugh sometimes to keep from crying. I thank God every night that I have an amazing and supportive husband to walk beside me on this journey. We make a great team and our relationship has definitely been taken to a new level. I honestly don't know what I would do without him. He is a wonderful father, partner, and friend. I am proud of my little family and cannot wait for all the adventures (and activities) in our future. :)